Story idea feedback

Our first source of feedback, stemmed from a class group workshop where our teacher put us into groups of four, to view each other’s work and give suggestions on what should be done to improve.

For my viewing session, the critics were made to watch the film without the use of sound, due to the complications that I had with incorporating it. I allowed them to watch it once without the details of the storyline, then before the second viewing I explained the concept to them. On the first viewing, the lack of sound inhibited them from understanding the full complex plot. Then on the second viewing, they suggested that I should try to make it concise the relevance of the establishing shots. Also at the end the titles should be equal in the length in which they play and in doing this, they also should be a bit slower. The titles had the transition of a cross- fade and it was noted that, once of these were too fast and should be smoother.

I then decided to ask some teachers who don’t teach media to analyze and be critical of my film and give me advice on some of the elements that I could adapt and change it.
General comments were: “it was imaginative, thought- provoking, creative, capturing, and the drama was well- delivered to give the impression that it was a person within another person’s mind.” When I posed the question on whether there was anything I would do to improve, it was said that “from my point of view, as I am not skilled in the media field, there is nothing that I would suggest improving.”

I also decided to get the view of my family members. First I asked my dad about any criticism he had when first examining the film. He recommended that when incorporating the sound, to make the establishing shots more significant, I should add the chiming of a bell at each moment the shot changes to enhance the spin chilling affect that I am trying to captivate, with this particular genre. In addition, I should disjoint the initial cut-away shots, to reflect on the distressed state of the protagonist’s mind.

From this feedback and experience I think this has made me more driven to make such a complex storyline clear and perhaps this could be fulfilled best through the music I add and sound which is incorporated.